so maybe I wanted to call him tonight and tell him
but I couldn't.
because I can't.
I can't call to tell him random fears
and funny stories.
and the snow is falling
my room is dark
and the music is on repeat.
It's because I feel like I have so much to tell but can't write any of it.
And I'm making new friends
and growing up.
Other things stay the same...
I talked to my best friend on the phone on Sunday and when we hung up I wanted to cry because I miss her so much. We laughed and talked for hours as if I had seen her yesterday, but it's been months since we've talked and almost a year since I've seen her but some things don't change. Her name is still "sistermads(:" in my phone. Shes the girl I can tell anything to. Lots of things are changing but this was a good reminder that we will always be best friends.
And I still eat Ramen out of the pan I cooked it in
So I did in fact wake up sick the middle of the night the day before a field trip. I may or may not have felt like I was five and extremely sad that I couldn't go in the morning. I missed possibly the last field trip I will ever go on in my young years.
It's fine, I've been blog stalking for the past four hours while watching Americas Next Top model with my box of tissues. Maybe this is just as pleasant. Right?
In the midst of my blog stalking I came upon this found on one of my cute little friends blog,
18 things to do before I turn 18
*side note to disclaim: usually when I make lists like this I only get maybe half of it done but this time I prommiise I will do it all.
I want to become more selfless.
Choose a school for next year and feel like it is the best decision for me.
Run a half marathon.
Send off a missionary and write him tons of letters.
Put thoes pointe shoes back on my feet.
Learn to not stress out and be a little more care-free.
Take a road trip.
Finish Personal Progress... yeah I'm a little behind hah.
Read the entire book of mormon again.
100 blog followers and a few give aways along the way. You all could help me with this one(:
Fill a whole journal of the next ten months.
Become more outgoing and start talking to people regardless of what others think.
Get a job. Okay this needs to happen like tomorrow.
I want to laugh everyday.
I want to learn to be more patient.
I want to be an influence on someone for good.
I want to create the best memories before he leaves.
How you doin Idaho. I spent last Friday checking out Rexburg. Not that exciting people. Lemme tell ya I saw lots of farm land. On top of that, it was 38 degrees when we got out of the car for breakfast at 9 in the morning and only got up to 60. The campus at BYU I is so pretty though, I loved it. College football has officially begun and now my Sauturdays consist of sitting on the couch watching game after game... pathetic I know. I can't tell you how much I love long weekends. Days filled with making cookies, watching movies and chilling.
And sometimes when my best friend and I both have morning classes we decide to take the rest of the day and play in the city.We had a delightful time walking around University of Utah's campus and down town. I throughly enjoy the massive library, that I'm convinced I could spend days in. I enjoyed listening into people conversations on the tracks, I'm a creep it's fine. Days like this should happen more often, they are definitely enjoyed.
I for one have made the decision to attend college as a senior high school student and so far it has been the best decision I have ever made. I feel that I am taking classes that I actually enjoy rather than I am required to take. The people are more mature and have a lot more to them than what they are going to wear and what they are doing this weekend- although you find people like that everywhere. No, I don’t plan on staying at this particular college for the rest of my college career but right now this is where I need to be. I’ve heard from lots of people that I’m over my head and that I should enjoy this last year of being a kid but in all honest I’m ready to grow up and move on. I’m not leaving high school all the way yet- I still attend a couple classes there. It’s a bitter sweet thing. I’m growing up. Filling out scholarship applications along with job applications. Buying textbooks that are breaking my bank but I am determined to do this. I love being in a place with strangers, figuring out where my classes are. New adventures and new people.
SIDE NOTE: The picture above is totally irrelevant. Best friend and I at the Alta-Bingham game at Rice Eccles Stadium. Watching one of my friends games, woot woot. Ah. I love the U of U campus but I’m a diehard BYU fan. Leads to difficult decisions I tell ya. My picture taking abilities are struggling...I was really trying to capture the view but I failed and got the intena of the car instead, it's fine.